Tour Diary September 2003�

The Thoughts of Mr. Cake

Forward: German Tours are renowned for being extremely stressy especially to non Germans. It wouldn�t be too difficult to fill a whole book with Horror Stories that have happened to people on the road in Germany. Examples such as playing a show with no PA at all or having to stop a riot have been par for the cause on other Cakekitchen Tours and the mind numbingly bizarre fact that whatever you could possibly think of that could go wrong probably will go wrong at some point on some Tour is almost a guarenteed reality. It�s always a race against time to get the soundcheck right before the doors open and a problem to get a van load of very different people with very different needs and often very different ways of looking at exaxctly the same thing in and out of the schedules provided on time. Things such a being robbed or having to be responsible for on the road cash and security make things even more tricky and when you add alcohol and drugs to the equation and the very important fact that every member of the touring party has a different way to let off steam and different things create stress for different people in different ways there are bound to be massive misunderstandings on the road and incredibly stupid things happening along the way.

Baring this in mind this tour diary is a sort of spinal tap monolog of just one persons view of what happened on the "How Can You Be So Blind?" Cakekitchen Tour. I�m sure alot of people saw some of the situations differently to how I did and I think everybody tried as hard as they could to make the best of the situations that we all had to deal with in our own way. Not for the faint hearted or the muck rakers it�s just a simple little tail of 6 idiots in search of adventure. That they indeed found adventure is indisputable. That nobody got too seriously hurt and nothing was stolen or lost is a small miracle and that they all made it back safe to their little beds after the tour was finished indeed a happy ending. So, hold onto your hats and here we go. Yeah, Come on in with me...

Neu Ulm - Salon Hansen�� 9th September

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After all staying in S�ssen the night before the Tour Party of the 4 piece Cakekitchen with Belgian Celloist/Violinist Dieter Roseeuw, the Steinbach Brothers Flavio and Fabrizio and Graeme meet up with Krite and American tour driver and merchandising man Patrick Mathewson outside Salon Hansen. Being the first show of the tour and in fact the first show this line up has played together the Cakes arrive at Salon Hansen half an hour early. Promoter Bodo Hansen is busy watering the Sunflowers outside the club and is surprised to find that The Cakekitchen is already on his doorstep. The stage is covered in tables and the clubs a little in dissarray. The band try and get their gear in early but Bodo is not to be persuaded. He politely but firmly requests that they wait for half and hour until he�s ready.

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�Sitting outside in the Sun everybody helps unload Freda�s van and Krite�s car full of equipment onto the street and has a drink or eats some of the freshly washed fruit thoughtfully provided by Bodo.� Eventually Graeme offers to help move some tables and the band and Bodo clear out the Salon ready for battle. The sound guy turns up and appears to be helpful. The stage is small but cosey and apart from a hole that�s been recently repaired in the middle of the stage nothing is a problem. The four piece band only barely fits on it though and the board over the hole puts Graeme slightly off balance depending on where he stands. It� a little like having 2 left feet and nothing on the right but it�s not possible to fix it and things progress anyway, eventually the Cakekitchen finish there soundcheck on time.

� Krite�s next. He checks both acoustic guitars and the already in place vocal microphone and then sets up the drum computer from a lap top sitting on a bar stool on stage left. When this is OK Graeme hops behind the drum-kit and plays along to the three songs that Krite sent him by mail a week or so ago. This is the first actual time they�ve ever played togehter. Everything seems OK. The band eat together in the next room and Patrick sets up the merchandise. Show begins on time and Krite�s set goes off fairly well. Cakekitchen start on time and after a few troubles with a bad DI cable on Fabrizio�s bass find their stride. They�ve opened with the chestnut "Old Grey Coast" and proceed to go through a large amount of songs from the new "How Can You Be So Blind?" LP. Graeme wants to play the songs one after the other with no gaps and the band sometimes has to scramble to keep up. Playing the songs without breaks between creates the tension he�s looking for and although everything is a little rough around the edges the band play well for a first gig and everyone seems happy. They play "It Don�t Work Out", One More Frozen Orange Juice" and "The Hop Hop Song" for the first time ever live. The later involving replacing the electric guitar with Graeme playing a black plastic egg, a rattle and squeezing a Rubber Chicken while singing. The set closes with the old unreleased London line-up song "Stupid Town" that�s been given a new lease of life after Flavio gave it a fucked up Rockabilly style drum patern. Both Bodo and the band seem pleased. The beer flows freely from Salon Hansen�s hospitality rider and everybody let�s off steam. Bodo asks everyone to sign the guest book and we all do.

First gigs can be tricky but this one sneaks past the post with all 16 fingers intact. They leave the gear packed up in the Salon and arrange to meet Bodo the next day to load out. More beers are consumed and moneys are sorted out. There�s 56 paying customers throught the door and The Cakes sell 96 Euro of merchandise. Bodo works out the details and directions to the Hotel. A good nights sleep is had by all. One down, eleven more to go...

Wetzlar - Franzis� 10th September

Picking up the Hire Van that will be their home away from home for the next 11 days the band sign up on the "arse over the dotted line" standard Euro Car contract. Graeme doesn�t own a credit card so the bands good friend and graphic designer Ursula provides the financial cover to enable the band to drive out of the car park. It�s the usual deal of 800 Euro out the door if anything goes wrong. The tour has a very low budget and only slight profit margin, losing 800 Euro would sink any profit that they might make and mean a bit of a dent in the merchandising money to get back to zero. Still there�s no choice really. Ursula and Graeme manage to get the Van half an hour earlier than the contract by going half an hour earlier. The deal is that you have to return it at the exact time you hired it 11 days later or you have to pay an extra day. We calculate on a one oclock pick up with a one oclock return. This should give us time for the 360 km - 5 hour drive to Wetzlar and the return drive from Austria after the last show on the 20th.� Get in time in Wetzlar is 6 oclock. Soundcheck begins at 7. Across the road from Eurocar the back seat of the V/W 9 seater is removed and stored in Bernhards Garage and all the stuff is loaded onto the footpath outside. Graeme is worried that everything won�t fit after looking at all the stuff on the street and leaves half his clothes behind at Ursula�s house. Somehow everything fits in anyway but he still leaves the rest of the clothes behind. Photos are taken and we all drive off down the road. 6 Idiots in search of adventure...

Proton�s map of Wetzlar seems clear enough but we get lost anyway in the old town. The Van seems almost too wide for some of the streets. One little scratch or ding and bye bye money. We eventually find the club. Amazingly enough we�re half an hour early. Proton�s map doesn�t have the street with the Hotel on it so we hang around and wait. Manfred shows up and we load in. He�s been sent our technical rider but wasn�t aware we didn�t have our own soundman. He says he�ll do it for us so we load in and set up. Graeme helps Manferd to EQ Flavios` drums and then we do Fabrizios� bass, Graeme�s Guitar and Vocals and Dieters� Electric Cello, and Electric Violin. It�s a bit wobbly and Manfred isn�t so familar with the Desk but between them they manage to get a good sound. The stage is a comfortable size in the corner of the room and the Franzis provide a bottle of Russian Vodka in the drinks rider.

Krite�s soundcheck progesses in the same slightly dodgy fashion but everyone tries together and at the end it�s as good as it could be given the circumstances and everyone relaxes. Patrick starts to set up the merchandise and the Twins go off in the Van in search of the Hotel.

Manfred gives us back 26 of the 30 posters that Proton sent him and tells us that tonight there�s a big Football match on so don�t be too hopeful about people coming along. They order us some pizza to eat and we chill out. Maybe only 20 people are at the show but it goes well never the less. We do 30 Euro worth of Merchandise and for some reason sell more copies of Sonnenallee than anything else. It�s not a bad show though and we get to the Hotel OK. We have a 4 hour drive to Bieliefeld the next day but sit up for a while watching the Hotel TV in Dieter�s and Krite�s room. There�s a cartoon on about a piece of toast that makes everybody laugh like crazy and a bit of steam is again released. Everybody eventually heads to their rooms and breakfast is no later than 10 oclock. We�ve left the gear in the club and have arranged to pick it up at 11 oclock so as long as we�re on the road by 12 we should get to Bieliefeld by the check in time of 4 oclock. Hope there�s some more people there...

Bielefeld - Kamp� 11th September

This Club is much bigger than either of the previous and we arrive on time. An extra band has been added to the bill much to our surprise but the promoter wanted a 3 band special so we�re obliged to go along with it. Graeme is surprised by the extra band because in organising the original outline for the tour he thought he made it clear to Proton that the reason they were taking Krite as a support was because they didn�t want any support bands. It�s easier to retain your good sound if you can have control of the Desk from the soundcheck on and not have to change everything too much but the support band Acoustic Kitten is a 6 piece band so chances of this seem rather remote. Never the less things proceed in an orderly fashion and Graeme sets up a couple of audience microphones and records the soundcheck on the portable old 70�s Marranz Cassette recorder that he�s brought along to record some of the shows with.

Acoustic Kitten take up a large part of the Back Stage Room and cover the table and everywhere else with homemade CD�s which they put together to sell to the audience that night. We�re staying in the Club that night so beds are picked and things unpacked. The food is nice and the Vegitarian stuff well spiced. Acoustic Kitten start they�re show a little late but the club is quite full and nobody seems to mind.

They sound good and the crowd like them. They look like they have fun on stage. Graeme trys to find a good place to hide his passport. The German Government doesn�t give identity cards to foreigners so he�s always obliged to take his actual passport on tour. He tends to sweat like a monkeys nut on stage so if he straps it to his body it will be wet recycled paper in 2 or 3 shows. The Flea Market aspect of the band room doesn�t offer him much hope of security but he at last finds a secret place somewhere in the bedroom where he hides it. He makes a mental note and preys he�s not so stupid as to forget it after the

show�s over. It could be a real problem to get a new visa and would involve a great deal of trouble but it�s pretty well hidden so he hopes for the best. On last years Creeping Unknown Package Tour Robert Scott got his Passport, Camera, Money and Air Ticket stolen from the backroom out of his unguarded case. He only left it alone for 5 minutes You can never be too careful...

Krite is a local legend in Bielefeld and his show goes well tonight. The lap top backing tapes are a little bit plastic but the acoustic guitar sounds are the best so far. He sings with a lot of feeling this night and people seem to like it. Old friends of the Cakes "Christian" and "Michael" turn up from Gelsenkirchen to see the show and Michael records it on mini disc from the balcony above. On stage sound is pretty good with a lot of headroom in the vocal monitors. Band plays well. The Show is also recorded on Video by some friends of Krite. Merchandise sells well and Patrick gets another shot at the rest of the Russian Vodka from Wetzlar to drink while selling the merchandise. Since we�re staying at the Club tonight he doesn�t have to drive so it�s a rare oppurtunity to get a few behind him. Beer flows into the night and everyone seems happy. Back stage room continues to be like a Flea Market and all of the Fleas are partying in abundance. Lights finally go out late. No One Driving. Snug as a Bug in a Rug. It�s a short ride to Kassel tomorrow so we can sleep in...

Kassel - Schlachthof�� 12th September

Not so much information about this show. It�s a substitute for the cancelled at the last minute Dortmund show at the The Subrosa and is a hundred Euro only support for Tom Liwa plus Hotel. Henning from Proton has organised it and has just moved his office back to his hometown leaving Jens in charge of Berlin operations. Graeme didn�t want to do any supports at all but understands the situation. It�s the first time ever that The Cakekitchen has played a support show for anyone in Germany. The tour book says --- Get in: 5, Soundcheck: 7,

Door Open: 8, Showtime: 9. Seems simple enough. Driving Time is only 2 hours and 150 km. Krite knows the way to drive and we stop off in a Bielefeld record shop before leaving town. Fabrizio nearly steps into 4 lanes of traffic along the way but somehow his God manages to stop him at the last second just as the traffic starts to move. Everybody jumps out of their skin. Dieter buys CD and yes, the shop does stock the new Cakekitchen Hausmusik release on CD at least.

We get to the club way early with only one minor close shave in trafficland and Graeme marvels at how fucking much of the roads and Autobahns of Jolly Old Germany seem to be under reconstruction. There�s good money in roads he declares to himself and ponders why he seems to be forever on the metal one.... We get to the Schlachthof� ridiculously early and wander around like zombies for a while. The guys let off steam playing Frizzby and nothing happens for the longest time. Eventually we find somebody with a key to the club. We load it.

The sound guy arrives. We ask him if Tom is playing with a band or by himself. He doesn�t know. He says we should ask Pink. Nobody knows except Pink where Pink is. If Tom has a band with him then he should soundcheck first. If he�s playing solo them The Cakes should maybe soundcheck first and put all of their stuff as far back on stage as is humanly possible. Maybe we �ll be allowed to leave it there if Tom�s playing on his own. To make things even unclearer noboby knows when Tom will arrive to soundcheck and when Graeme eventually finds Pink Pink tells him that it�s up to Tom to decide the schedules and Pink will just ride along with what Tom wants to shoot for. OK? Alles Klar? We set up the shit anyway.

The Sound guy arrives. He�s friendly and helpful. We talk to him about the situation and he�s on the long burn home after 3 hard nights of mixing. But he knows the room, or at least he�s used it a lot before so things look good. He whips out some very sexy old white sennheisser mikes and the fun begins. The Room has the acoustic properties of Pope Pius the Ninths Chamberpot except every groan is 5 times louder. It�s a tile floor and as live as Pamela Andersons� G String. Graeme wants to use one of the other Sennheissers as a vocal mike and the Soundguy lets him do it. There�s something wrong with the foldback somewhere and we lose a bit of time trying to get it right. We�ve also put the Cello and the Main Electric Guitar in the wrong firing zones to each other and the onstage sound is somewhat load and ear numbingly middly. The PA farts into life and all is clear for a while. We fiddle about with the amps and have just about got it right. Tom arrives. He�s been in a Traffic Jam. They were digging up the road there too. He�s happy to be at the club. Yeah, he�s playing solo and no, it�s not a problem to leave our equipment on stage. He sneaks around a bit and Krite checks the 2 Acoustic guitars and Lap Top. Dieter has started to play Cello on one of Krites�songs and it sounds good. Last nights version was well played and the grey area of extra musical activity on tour is starting to begin. Who knows who will be playing what by the end of the tour? It�s always interesting to see how things like this will unfold.

There�s a room upstairs with some food and a key to lock stuff in but they�ve only one copy of it which is in Toms� pocket so Graeme decides not to bother him and hides his passport in a different place. There�s a resturaunt over the road that provides our food for the night but by the time we�ve gotten around to everything and set up the merchandise the doors are open. We could have eaten in the 2 free hours when we had nothing to do but nobody was here to tell us we would be eating across the road so we don�t make the most of our oppurtunities. Fabrizio tapes the Merchandising Banner to the face of a real painting on the wall of the club but we move it before they see. Now that people are in the room and the merchandising is out so one of us has to stay guard. Graeme offers his meal to Henning, sets up camp and writes out the new set lists at the Merchandising table. Krite hops back and offers him half of his food. Graeme thanks him and they eat it quickly. Krite asks Tom if he can have a shit before he plays and Tom says that he doesn�t have a problem with that. Goodbye Porked Pie.

We�re running ten minutes late by the time Krite starts but it doesn�t matter. Krite begins and it sounds a little too middly at the start. They�ve put a lot of chairs into the room but with people in there the sounds very different again. The drum machine from the lap top sounds like a drum machine from a lap top and he plays a short twenty minute set on Toms` request. The problem is that the sound sounds way different where the guy at the mixer is standing from what it sounds like in the middle or the front of the room but unless you actually walk from the mixing desk to the middle of the room and listen you�ll never know the difference. For whatever reason best known to Beealzabum the sound guy stands behind the mixer for the whole show. The vocals are blurred and the drums sound very weird to play on stage. You have to be really careful not to hit the toms or the snare too hard. I forget to lower down Flavios�stool so it�s kind of uncomfortable to play them. But it�s OK and people seem to like it so

I guess it worked out in the end.

Cakekitchen are asked to play for one hour. Locked in the backstage room was the piece of paper with the exact song times. We play our shortest set of the tour. I look at my pocket watch on stage before we begin. We�re on time. The Vocals seem to have disappeared from the monotors again and it�s hard to hear the vocals on stage. I have to sing like an elephant to get over the noise of the music. I`m using maximum breath control to climb through the aural fog and everybody is trying to play with the handbrake on. We scramble around with no gaps between any of the songs and I forget the key of Gold Neon Moon again. But it works. We get to Sonnenallee. We�re still on time. We play a sprightly version and I have to sing the vocal parts loud as a Hampster to get through the Bedlam. It�s too much and I�m starting to almost hyperventialate. There�s still just enough time for the closing number "The Resurrection of Lieutenant Ghmpinski" We sail into the Harbour. The first 30 seconds is just Electric Guitar and Vocals. Everybody gives it their best. Against all odds we actually manage to add a good amount of magic to the song. There�s slight frequency differences between the Cello and the Vocals on this song that make some parts of it even harder to sing but they kind of compliment each other in a way and for most people here English is a second language anyway so the lack of clarity doesn�t matter as much as the colour of the tones.

We make it to the end of the song. For once we don�t have to move the equipment off the stage after playing because it�s OK if we leave it there. Graeme rushes out of the room and goes outside before he falls over. He wonders if it was worth the 100 Euro and hopes the Hotel he hasn�t seen yet is a good one. We should have spent our time at the Hotel instead of hanging around the club but the lack of information about the show kind of fucked us up a bit. Anyway, I guess we made the best of the situation.

Tom comes on and to my surprise praises The Cakekitchen and tells the audience that they should buy our new record. He has a nice speaking voice and is Confident as a Cucumber. He tells the sound guy to turn up the foldback and gives Graeme the knickname of "The Knochen Mann". He has a wonderful guitar sound and plays from years of experience. Economy all the way down the line. Unlike alot of his contemporaries he chooses not to sing in English at all and it�s nice to hear people singing to there fellow countrypersons in the native German Lauguage. Tom�s songs involve stories and thought. He chooses his moments to spin the tales around the audiences ears and just like Pink said� "It�s Toms� Show" so he just kind of does what he wants. Tom starts to sell his merchandise from the side of the stage. It really is his night and his audience. We�re just along for the ride. Everybody has a few friendly words and then heads for the Hotel. It couldn�t have turned out much better. It�s lucky everybody was nice.

Leipzig - Ilse�s Erika��� 13th September

Morning calls. Four and a half hour drive and 330 km to Leipzig. Hotel turns out to have a stupid Mafia Sytle Dumbfuck Key System. It�s difficult to get back in to it. People are late for Breakfast and sleep is running low. We have to get our stuff out of the club and they�re opening it up for us at 11. We�re using the same road as Tom drove so we already know it�s likely to have some overcrowding problems and roadworks. It�s also Saturday. We�ve got a long way to go. Today it�s different and Soundcheck is only possible until 7.30. We load up and leave. No real traffic jams but a shitload of roadworks. Graeme buys a large stuffed White Tiger from a Gas Sation along the way. They are a Touring Companion to the Two Large Brown Mouses that have been used as stage props by the band. The Mouses also double as good emergency pillow for a quick forty winks and other stuffed animals are hidden inside of the kick drum. We get to the club half an hour early. The Twins have played the club before and Flavio tells me all the details I�m curious about on the way there in the back of the van. Hey, Wow, Hollyshit and Hellwater for once someone has a little bit of inside information. It�s so stressy to have to worry about every last fart. Cool, maybe we can even set up the Marranz and record the show if we have time. The band is already starting to get it�s road legs and the performances are getting better. It�s a good idea to start recording stuff now.

The Sound Guy is on time and the Promoter is cool. We get through our soundchecks and everything�s OK. We�re only going to use 5 microphones on the instruments and since the room sound is good we can go more with that. I record the Soundcheck. Both bands play well and we have a party at the club afterwards. Fabrizios� bass nearly falls over on the bouncy stage during the opening song but Graeme runs across the stage while still playing guitar and saves it with his foot. They both look horrified with each other for a split second and get on with the show. We have to pack up quick and put all the gear in a safe lockable room and then everybody lets off some steam. Fun is had by all and the party runs well into the night. Forgot to mention that the food was good and that we even managed to eat it with plenty of time to spare. Dinner at 8 and Door at 10 is nicely civilised. Didn�t forget to tip the waitress. We�re staying in a Band Room owned by the club tonight complete with big white bath and fridge full of food. Jolly Good. Good Jolly. Krite has three too many beers and accidentaly goes to sleep on the toilet with the key to the room and his handy off line. When the lads finally get back in they take photographic evidence and give him a hand into the Sack. Party Zone is Uberall and nobody met anybody very hard. Hey, Wow Leipzig that was great. They give us a case of beer to get us to our Hamberg show the next day and we talk enthusiastically about a re-booking for January/February. The best show so far.

Hamburg - Schlachthof��� 14th September

Long drive. Don�t leave the Leipzig Hauptbahnhof until a little past one. Fabrizios� girlfriend Anne is catching the train home and we wait around to say Goodbye. With a 400km drive ahead estimated at 5.5 hours and "Get In at 5 - Soundcheck at 6 and doors open at 9". This means in theory we�re going to be a little late. But it�s Sunday and no trucks we figure we can make it. We�re staying with old friend Dirk Hugsam just down the road from the Venue and Norbert has always been easy to deal with so hopes are high for another good show. Graeme especially wants to show to be good for Dirk because he missed Graeme�s set last year on the Creeping Unknown Package Tour and so hasn�t seen Mr Cake and his Pointy Guitar play for a considerable amount of years. Dirk has seen many Cakekitchen shows though as there "On the Road Manager" and "Tour Booker" but never with more than a two man line up since he saw the original three piece line up play in Wellington New Zealand in 1989. This will be the first time he�s been able to see a full four piece line-up in action in Europe and Hamburg is a very important city to play well in.

When we get there it turns out Norbert has a Flu the size of The Bombay Hills. He warns us not to get too close. We get too close anyway and load in. Graeme�s Fender gets a Bumpy Ride and starts to make funny noises. He manages to fix it. The PA isn�t set up and the mixing desk hasn�t been used for over a year. It�s the first time anyone has played on this stage since Noah was a Cowboy and it�s even hard work for our engineer to find the plugboxes. Dirk arrives with some Hausmusik CDs in a Package and things calm down. Graeme gets really stressed out and wants to only use the PA for Vocals and not mike up the instruments. Nobody will agree with this idea. The PA is sounding full of dust and small little insects are leaving for a holiday in the effects unit. Oh No - Bad Show. The Sound Engineer is really trying to do her best but nothing is happening. She�s making a good deal of what she�s been given to stick the sound together with but there�s a minimum of mikes anyway and the desk is actually making most things sound worse. Hell prevails for a little while and everybody gets uptight. Dirk and Graeme go outside and sit down and things improve inside little by little. It goes on for a while. Norbert clears some of the stress by saying it doesn�t really matter about the doors open at nine deadline.

The Sound Woman is really pulling out all the stops and the PA Rumbles back into life spewing out more dust and little insects.

It�s actually starting to sound good. Perhaps the little insects inside the effects unit have started to hold hands? Against all odds things actually go really well. They don�t start with "Old Grey Coast" as Dieter is already on his way and "Stomp thru the Set "with an enthusiasm missing from 99.9% of the Soundcheck.� It�s a good show.

Gregor Kessler turns up just before Krite starts playing. Everything turns out fine. Merchandise is good that night and the audience very vocal in their praise. Graeme apologies for stressing out the Sound Woman and she accepts his apology. We party into the night with Dirk and the drinks are on the Band. It�s lots of fun to be in Hamburg again and everybody ends up staying at Dirks place. Next Morning we sit around his old table from Kaufbeuren and the band also buys him breakfast. Dirks new car gets Tour Vechile of the Year Award and everybody jumps into the Van with a Smile. Hey-Ho-Lets-Go.

Berlin - Knaack�� 15th September

Another 300 km and we�re in Berlin. Accomadation is in private as is par for the cause in the Capital. Dieter and I are staying at Krite�s and��

the Twins and Patrick down the road at a friends place. We�re on time but there�s something missing from the PA which slows things down by half an hour. The Sound Guy is great and knows his stuff so we make up the time quickly and he even sets up a live mike to record the show for us partly through the desk and partly in the audience.

Graeme�s really looking forward to Berlin. He hasn�t played there since Tom Toms last show with the Two Piece Markus Acher line-up

and things look good. Krite has some special guests for his home town show. Today his sound check is longer and more involved. We�re on a 60% deal with no guarentee tonight so the guest list must be tight. Graeme takes responsibility for the division. Allows Krite 5 guests, the Twins 4 and himself just the one. He tells everybody in the Van on the way into Berlin that he�s sorry about this but the tour hasn�t really broken even yet. Krite�s soundcheck eventually grinds to a halt. Could have done with maybe a bit more time but his was longer than the Cakekitchens so it�s as good as it can be. The Room sounds good. Graeme runs into Ralph and Eve and apologises but sorry no more names on the door. He gives them a backstage beer instead and Ralph tells him Muli Ghmposki is also in Berlin and will be along later.

Krite and his Berlin Musicans play a good show. Marion and Bruno turn up and it�s a pleasant surprise. I haven�t seen either of them since the last Hausmusik Festival in 2001. Apart from one of Krite�s guitar playing friends being almost inaudible from stage left everything sounded fine. There�s lots of extra equipment floating around and we keep losing our backstage key. A Party seems to be developing in the Backstage Room and our quota of beer is gone already. Graeme loses the set lists at the last moment and panics. Fabrizio somehow manages to find them again. We go on a little behind schedule.The Cakes set is nevertheless well placed and the band is starting to understand the dynamics of the songs more instinctively. We try and warm the audience to us with a bit of between song banter and Graeme breaks a string. The sound is good and the last minute Cello / Bass feedback problems we had at Soundcheck have disappeared for good. It works out fine.

By the end of the night the Backstage Room is full of people. Dieter and� Krite jam for a long time and Schneider also plays. Patrick and Graeme join in on Cymbal Bottle and Salad Bowl Snare for twenty minutes or more and more beer is drunk. Schneider begins to try and play Dieters Violin. Graeme gets a Peep Tone in his ear and asks Schneider to stop. Schneider is drunk and having fun. He ignores the request. Graeme asks again twice. Schneider stops for a five seconds and starts again. Graeme tells him if he keeps playing the violin he will break it over his head. Bad Vibes develop. Everybody is drunk and everyone seems to have an opinion about what�s going on. Julia Hagmann proves once and for all that she has the sensitivity of a Dead Curryw�rst by adding her thoughts to the fire. Graeme wonders why he bothered to put her name on the guest list. He trys to make the best of a stupid situation, apologises and trys to give Schneider a hug.

In a way he shouldn�t apologise because it�s his backstage room and he did ask Schneider nicely threee times but maybe it will help. He does so again and tries to place at least half of the stress he feels about the situation into Schneiders Aura while giving him the hug. Schneider freaks out and yells and shoves. Schneider becomes nasty. Graeme leaves through the back door of the club and heads off down the street. The situation is too stupid and not worth the bother of trying to fix. He decides what he really needs is to be by himself for a while. It�s a warm night. He meets Fabrizio by chance along the way and arranges to meet him at the club at 12 the next day. He spends the night wandering round Berlin. Finds Sonnenallee at 5 in the morning and Catnaps as best he can on the ring train going round and round Berlin. He meets the Twins the next day at 12 and they load in the Gear. Dieter, Krite and Patrick are late so it�s only a three person load in. We discover a Shower in the Backstage Room that we never found the day before and also a toilet. Everybody says Good Morning and not very much is said about the night before. Nobody apologises and it�s on with the Show. We have a 3 hour drive to Dresden and the Get In Time is 5 oclock.

Dresden - The Star Club��� 16th September

Arrive on time and check into the Hotel first. Star Clubs is a great place to play and the Hotel is cleverly just round the corner. Great Rooms, Wonderful water pressure, for some unknown reason someone has stolen Graeme�s toilet door but it doesn�t matter. We appreciate a chance for a few home comforts. Heiko is still booking the place and there�s some old Cakekitchen Posters from Dirks previous tours with the band still on the walls. Food is well cooked and simple. Sound Guy is helpful and we have no problems. It�s a big stage but the headroom for the foldback is of a professional level so that�s OK too. The last time The Cakekitchen played here they pulled over 250 people. Wow, that was a great night but it was also 7 years ago. We hope for the best and I set up the mikes to record the show.

Things go well. Both sets meet a good amount of applause. We try Tell Me Why You Lie which we left out until now. Flavio and Graeme practice the beats per minute by banging along on the dinner table. It works. Audience is friendly and we sell some merchandise. Graeme develops an on stage joke that Patrick (who is actually from the Bronynx) is from New Zealand. He says he�s sailing back there in a few days on his private yacht and looking for a Cook and a First Mate.

Nobody in Dresden seems to believe this story anyway so it doesn�t matter. Show ends with Krite again rejoining the bands encore of Stupid Town. Fun is had by all and we let off steam. We have to load out the gear and park the Van in the Basement. The people from the Star Club help us. Heiko says "Come back and play whenever you want". Can�t do better than that. Great. Nice to have a real bed and a room to ones self. Breakfast the next day is the best of the whole tour. A piece of the drumstick from Krites�set seems to have wedged it�s way into Graeme�s finger. Waitress Carolin lends her Boomerang Tweezers and Graeme digs it out at breakfast the next day with the help of a needle. It�s a long drive to Frankfurt. 6 Hours and maybe a traffic jam but we�re well rested and in good spirits. Thanks Star Club.

Frankfurt - Nachtleben�� 17th September

Troubles about this show and things wrong in the Tour Book regarding the details of the show. Our Book says we have an extra support band from Britain called Spearmint but it turns out they�re the main band and Cakekitchen is in the middle spot. We thought about pulling the gig but Markus the local promoter has put in a good amount of effort into it so we adapt ourselves to what he wants. Hotel is part of the deal and that�s good cause we don�t know anyone to stay with in Frankfurt.

Spearmint turn out to be friendly and we arrive at the Club at exactly the same time. It�s smack in the middle of the town and there�s lots happening. A big outdoor show is playing and lots of people are about. We let them load in and then load in ourselves. To avoid confusion we have our gear stage left and they put their stuff stage right. They let us use their bass gear. Sound Guy is efficent and we get through the Cakekitchens Soundcheck in double quick time to give Krite a chance to tweak his guitars into gear. We could also have used their mouth wateringly good seventies Rodgers drum kit as well but Flavio feels better with his own kit so we change around. The first band always gets the short shift in a three band soundcheck if time runs out but everything gets through on time and the sound is suprisingly good.

We use our hour well and reprogramme the set a bit for maximium effect. Change over goes well and Spearmint are on time to hit the stage. We�ve kept our part of the deal and everyone�s happy. Although the Venue fails to provide us with any food their� policy on Backstage Beer is extremely generous and the Tour Party lets off steam once again. Spearmint have their own crowd and are professional in what they do but we�re from different planets musically. Turns out the Hotel is actually a Youth Hostel. We get there late. We�ve loaded out the gear into the Van and Fabrizio backs into a Pole 3 times before we park it in the right way. Luckily he backs into the Pole Italian Style and the Van doesn�t show any signs of the collision of metals. We did the best we could with the gig and everyone is fairly tired. Get woken up at 9.30 and are asked to leave and pay. We say "You Must Be Joking" and eventually it�s sorted out. The Hostel is by the River and it�s a nice walk to the Van. We don�t even have a parking ticket but Graeme develops a Headache the size of an Elelphant and needs a shot of coffee pronto. We drive to Darmstadt to check into the club as soon as possible and buy some breakfast. The guys say the food is better in Darmstadt and nobody feels that much like staying in Frankfurt. It�s only a 40km drive and the Twins know the Club so off we go.

Darmstadt - Oettinger Villa� 18th September

Drive around Darmstadt for what seems like half a year and finally manage to get a park. By now Graeme�s headache is the size of 2 Elephants and he�s unreasonably short. Eventually we "Tie up the Horse" and head for the Old Part of Town. Everyone has trouble deciding what they want to eat but we eventually find a place and sit down. Band Money buys the Food. Toilets downstairs have no seats so Graeme has to shit Indian Style and refuses to pay the attendant the customery 30 cents for using the rest rooms. Buy a seat next time or go to a sale at Obi doesn�t seem to amuse the attendent but it doesn�t really matter. We wander around and check out the local music store. We buy some strings and a couple of new leads. They have a nice Gibson SG in the window for a good price. But it�s closing for lunch so we hop off. The local record store is very expensive.

The Oettinger Villa has to be seen to be believed. It was built in the 1800s and has the rambling charm and style of a World Gone By. Promoter Markus is friendly and we change the covers on the backstage beds that will be our home for the night. Sound Guy Robbie is also friendly and asks if he can record the show on 24 track. We say OK but only if we can have a copy of it and then start to work out how to make the best of the small amount of channels and direct outs that we�ll need to get both a good sound and a good recording. It�s twice the work and a compromise of both. There�s a band practising underneath us which means that you can always hear their bloody drums. We eventually manage to get Markus to stop the band down stairs. It�s a bit stressy. There�s no mike patched into the desk for stage-front house communication and everybody has to shout to be heard. Robbie wants Graeme�s Amp quieter than Graeme would like it and in an effort to be adaptable Graeme turns it down to a level that will suit Robbies Direct Outs.

We eventually make it through and Krite gets through too. The room is a really good size and acoustically friendly. The show is also videoed.� Let�s hope it�s a good night. Things go well and people seem to like it. We sell more vinyl than anywhere else and the Hospitality of the Club is warm and friendly. The Cakekitchen extend a simialr warm hand and some of their own Hospitaliy Rider is freely passed amongst the locals.

Turns into a great Party Backstage. Krite gets out his guitars and jams with Dieter and Patrick. Everybody drinks more. Graeme joins in on percussion. Krite eventually passes out and Graeme takes over on the guitar. He jams with Dieter and they also swap around on violin and Cello. It�s the first time they�ve ever played Violin and Cello together even though they could have done it at anytime before. They murder a few covers and make things up on the spot. It�s fun and a good way of letting off steam. It�s down to the Hardcore now and the club is in full party mode. We all start dancing to the Crashing Dreams new CD and are having fun. A member of the staff who�s been on the Bands Hospitality Rider tells Graeme what he thinks is wrong about him. An arguement develops. Graeme calls the guy a Stupid Hippy. It gets kind of ugly and drifts towards violence. Graeme eventually manages to leave by waking up Markus with a Mouse and walking out with the Boss around his arm so as not to be bothered with the arguement. Markus collapses upstairs and then comes to an hour later. Graeme. Flavio and Markus stay up until around 6 in the morning talking and having fun. The disagreement downstairs is not mentioned to Markus who was asleep while it happened. Next day breakfast is good and there�s no more trouble.We have a 2 and a half hour drive to Stuttgart so everythings easy. We talk about a re-booking for January / February.

Stuttgart - Merlin� 19th September

Arrive at the Merlin on time. Clubs in a good spot and there�s accomadation upstairs. Twins are well known in this town and the show is billed as Graeme Jefferies and The Go Luckys. Nobody minds and the people from the club are friendly. We get a little behind in the Soundcheck as the Sound Guy is behind schedule but it all falls into place and it�s a very live room anyway. While Graeme is taping the recording mikes to the ceiling Helmut from 10 Grad calls to check up with them on some technical information about the show in Innsbruck the next day. It�s the first time on this tour that any of the promoters have actually called us on the road. We talk about the technical things and work out a good solution.

Krite by this point has given up on the lap top all together and Graeme is now playing drums for five of the songs instead. Dieter is also doing more in Krite�s set and Fabrizio also helps him with some well placed bass lines. He does one of his best sets of the tour and the Kangaroo that Ursula had brought to the Salon Hansen show returns to the stage for the Stuttgart Show. One of the Mouses starts smoking cigarettes but gets his dury stolen by Flavios�White Tiger just before the curtain goes up. How can a mouse argue with a white tiger in need of a smoke?

The show goes well and is recorded on video as well. Drinks are down to just 3 drink tickets per person but maybe that�s not such a bad idea. We�ve got a big drive tomorrow and everybody is fairly tired. Flavio and Graeme sort out the money with the local promoter and all is well.

We do OK in the merchandising and everything seems to be all right.

We leave the gear downstairs in the club and load it out the next morning. The tiger stands guard of our stuff.

Innsbruck - 10 Grad�� 20th September

We load up and head off down the highway. We drop Ursula off in Ulm. Patrick has left his passport behind. We debate about what to do about this and Graeme suggests that maybe it would be too much trouble for Patrick if he got detained by the Austrian Police. We have a tight schedule and it might be more trouble that it�s worth. Patrick say he still wants to go so we take a chance and head for the German / Austrian Border. We stop shortly before and the band money buys everybody something to eat. There�s no border control anyway so it�s OK. We drive for a while and then stop off on the road to wet our feet in the river. The landscape is awe inspiringly beautiful and reminds Graeme of parts of the South Island. Our Tour Diary has no street map of Innsbruck so we drive around like idiots and eventually find the club. Helmut is there and since Graeme knew from the phonecall yesterday that it was a two microphone onl vocal PA type show the soundcheck is really easy and the band control the level of sound from their on stage amplifiers.

The Food is nice and the people helpful. The German contingent marvel at the different accents of the Innsbrukers and we chill out.

Show goes as scheduled and there�s a good crowd. It�s the first time the Cakes have played in Innsbruck since 1995. Both sets are good and the fact that there�s vertually no PA means that it�s not too stressy.

We finish up with World of Sand and This Perfect Day and relief all round spreads like wild fire. We�ve finished the tour playing wise at least. Helmut gives us the money and we drink on the hospitality of the club. Spirits are high and the stress is off. Our Hotel is out of town but since we�re in the Party Zone of Innsbruck we hang around taking things in and wobble around the streets having fun.

Somehow Patricks fingers get squashed in the van door at around 3 oclock in the morning. It�s the first two on his right hand. He takes the pain surprisingly well and then collapses in the street a few moments later. The Twins who for the whole tour have been the only ones who don�t drink alcohol take charge of the situation. It means going to the local hospital and X-Rays and it takes a long time. Luckily for Patricks Finger it�s not broken but it sure as hell got squashed. Whether the nail survives is anybodies guess. People sleep in the Van outside the Hospital or are taken to the Hotel. The Hospital Party arrive at the Hotel with only one hour before Dieters train back to Belgium is due to leave. The Twins somehow manage to wake him up and get him to the train station with one minute to spare. The Hotel is on a Farm on the outskirts of town and Graeme talks to the cows in the barn and picks up the farm cat that�s hidden itself under the Tour Van.

We have to leave early to get the Van back by one or it�s another 100 Euro. The drive goes OK with Fabrizio and Flavio taking turns. We stop somewhere just inside the German Border and buy the last Band Breakfast. Looks like it�s a easy journey home. The pressure is off. We relax. But no, when we get back on the road there�s a 25 kilometre traffic jam. Flavio is behind the whell and drives like a Hampster along various national roads. Everytime we try and get back on the Autobahn it�s the same traffic jam. It�s going to be tight. Somehow we manage to make it back to Ulm, unload the van onto the street , put the back seat back in and get it to the Van Rental Firm on time.

Wow, that was fast. Ursula has organised a Roast Turkey Dinner with Special Effects and the dirty-tired-van-sore-finger-crushed-tour-party chill out together and have one on the house. We made it and that�s what counts. It�s such a relief to get the van back without a scratch or a penalty incurred. Some people jump into the Blau and sail around in a little tiny boat and others just stare into the sun or their glass of wine. It�s the end of the road for now and all of the deadlines and time schedules have been met. Well done little Cakes. You�re all still alive and now I guess it�s time for us to say Goodbye....������

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